A new heroic age is dawning in Marvel Comics

The dawn of a new Heroic Age in Marvel
I feel really good reading this article:

http://marvel.com/news/comicstories.10914.marvel~colon~_the_heroic_age

The Marvel Universe has seen its heroes go through hell over the last several years. Sometimes it seemed like the misery would never end but there appears to be light at the end of the tunnel. As the Dark Reign slithers into the darkness with all the villiany along with it, hope is renewed once more.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." - Edmund Burke

"How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these." - George Washington Carver

Oh how quaint...vermin and their propaganda

In light of the upcoming movie "Kick Ass" which has a focus on RLSH related activities I thought I'd talk about something that needs a bit of clarity, that being the issue of RLSH patrols. It seems that one of the main things bugging groups like ROACH (aside from them being intrinsically obnoxious) and other anti RLSH is that they think the RLSH patrols consist of RLSH acting like thugs and going out with the sole purpose of willingly inflicting harm on people. Now having several friends and contacts within the RLSH community this little old mouse would suggest to the casual observer uneducated about the RLSH and this aspect of their movement to see beyond this propaganda. Now that is not to say that some RLSH elements are a little too "wired" for their own good and not all members are conducive to moving the RLSH forward in a positive manner. Society is full of people that project moral values and ethical standards to our faces but then do the opposite behind our backs. We tend to place people on higher ground, pedestals of iconic worship. So when some of these people go bad it is often a shock to us - dirty cops, priests admitting to molestation charges, soldiers killing innocent civilians in fits of rage of frustration, politiicians and their backroom sleazy deals, ect. These are the people that we entrust to uphold our morality and stand as a beacon of hope, a template for us to supposedly emulate. What I find rather ridiculous and hypocritical is that groups like ROACH and RLSH bashers distorts the facts so willingly in order to push their agenda which they have built on a foundation of fallacy. So here is the truth...

When the average RLSH goes on patrol I see little difference between them and a citizens watch group going on a neighborhood patrol (well except for the gaudy wardrobe). Most RLSH patrols consist of people mainly looking out for any potentail trouble and if they see it their reaction is mainly to observe and report unless the threat level is severe enough to warrant interjecting themselves. Case in point as I have made before - if a neighborhood watch group was strolling through their neighborhood and saw a woman kicking and screaming being dragged into a dark alley by an assailant or two would they stay away from the scene and call the cops and wait for them to arrive in order to do something? I highly doubt this. Chances are once the cops arrived at the scene the victim would have been robbed, pysically or/and sexually assualted, or perhaps even dead. If a RLSH patrol came across the same scene chances are they would interjectthemselves and rightfully so - sometimes the mere threat of being seen committing a crime is enough to deter the crime from happening and scaring off the assailants. Would it ethically or morally correct for either the RLSH group or average citizen patrol to wait for the cops to arrive while this crime is being committed? Of course not. Would it be wrong for them to interject themselves in order to perhaps prevent the crime/assault from happening? I would think not, unless they enjoy hearing another human beings screams as they are being brutalized.

So let's clarify and dispel the myth of the RLSH supposedly "looking for trouble".
Yes, the RLSH patrols "look for trouble" but not in the way that assenine organizations like ROACH would like to portray it. RLSH patrols look for trouble as observers - 99% of the ones I've spoken to tell me flat out that their greatest weapon is a cell phone. Why? Because when they see something suspicious they dial
the authorities. Most RLSH don't look for trouble as an excuse to be overtly violent - they understand that because of what they do they may have to defend
themselves as in the example given above. If the assailant who is assualting the woman in question decides to try and attack the RLSH then the RLSH member has every right to defend themselves and incapacitate the attacker with REASONABLE FORCE. Notice I capitalized the words "REASONABLE FORCE"....

Regarding the tragedy of 9/11, we now know that one of the planes that was downed before striking it's target was on a collision course towards the White House. The collision was averted because average citizens refused to sit around and be victims which would result in more victims when the plane collided into its target. We now know that the famous "shoe bomber" was thwarted from his goal by average people on the plane who saw the threat and instead of sitting around and doing nothing, they acted. When I think about the average RLSH patrol I draw some parallels to this. The RLSH who patrol are people who refuse to sit around and watch things go bad around them. Could they do what they do without their costumes? Maybe. However, anonymity is often necessary to accomplish a greater good and to protect ones families, otherwise why would their be a need for spies or undercover police? Do some RLSH act inappropriately sometimes? Undoubtedly so, as do some police officers, politicians, soldiers, and people put in stations for the sole purpose of protecting the system and the citizens within it instead of using their station for illicit purposes and personal gain/glory. It really comes down to arrogance and ignorance from groups like ROACH who bash the RLSH at every turn and yet you have members in their organization declaring war on charity organizations or making statements like children with terminal diseases should be exterminated before they have a chance to grow up, reproduce, and as one ROACH member put it "contaminate the gene pool".

I look at ROACH members and I see a bunch of sloths and pathetic clowns; they hide
behind their villian gimmick and complain about what the RLSH do when they themselves do NOTHING positive / constructive. They bash RLSH patrolling as a dangerous and violent vigilantism but really, is picking up a cell phone and calling the cops "danngerous violent vigilantism"? Is seeing a violent crime and innocent people in harms way and jumping in to deter it the act of a RLSH who is "mentally unstable" or the act of a RLSH who is putting their own safety in harms way to prevent harm to another person? Should we all do what ROACH seems to want us to do and just stand around and do nothing while things unravel in bad ways around us? I hardly think so. Groups like ROACH love to distort what the RLSH do; ROACH thrives on propaganda, lies, and then fall back on their "villian gimmick" when it suits them. This behavior is the stuff of lazy cowards.

The next time a RLSH basher starts spouting off about those "violent RLSH who patrol" take the time to get the facts. See things from both sides of the fence and look beyond the gaudy costumes the RLSH sometimes wear. Talk to a RLSH and ask them why they do what they do and chances are the answers will both surprise and enlighten you. Is the RLSH movement perfect? Absolutely not but the image that ROACH would paint the RLSH as is a fabricated farce, created for their own sick amusement and delusional tunnel-vision.

For more information on how the RLSH generally function, here is a good website to
look into - https://www.rlsh-manual.com/WELCOME.html

Unlike what those idiots in ROACH would have you believe, the manual does not encourage RLSH to "break the law and be vigilantes". It does not encourage RLSH to use excessive violence but rather only the level of violence necessary and only as a last resort. What it does do is provide many links to help the average citizen become more aware of who to contact if they need assistance of any kind, medical information with life saving possibilty (providing CPR, helping people who are choking, diagnosing sypmtoms, ect), the extent of a RLSH legal capacity to carry out their function (essentially what crosses the line and what does not). This manual/website also makes it clear that a RLSH is best served as being an observer and ENCOURAGES RLSH to work with the local law enforcement rather than try to "one up" them. The article is written by a RLSH named Night Owl who in addition to being a RLSH also works in the public safety sector as a fire fighter and EMT intructor. The manual/website also has writings from a RLSH called Superhero, who just happens to be a graduate of the Police Acadamy in Clearwater, Fl. He goes into detail about the legal issues of being a RLSH and offers excellent advice to help a RLSH navigate the legal waters in a way that causes as little problems to local authority as possible. Lastly, for those ass clown ROACH members and RLSH bashers I would pay close heed to the Good Samaritan laws sectionof this manual, particularly the
following:

"Good Samaritan laws (Acts) in the United States and Canada are laws/acts protecting from blame those who choose to aid others who are injured or ill. They are intended to reduce bystanders' hesitation to assist, for fear of being prosecuted for unintentional injury or wrongful death. The name Good Samaritan refers to a parable told by Jesus in the New Testament (Luke 10:33-35).

In other countries (as well as the Canadian province of Quebec), Good Samaritan laws describe a legal requirement for citizens to assist people in distress, unless doing so would put themselves in harm's way. Citizens are often required to, at minimum, call the local emergency number, unless doing so would be harmful, in which case, the authorities should be contacted when the harmful situation has been removed. Such laws currently exist in countries such as Israel, Italy, Japan, France, Belgium, Germany, Andorra, and Spain. The photographers at the scene of Princess Diana's fatal car accident were investigated for violation of the French Good Samaritan law ("non-assistance à personne en danger", or deliberately avoiding providing assistance to endangered persons, can be punished by up to 5 years of jail time and a fine of up to 100 000 €). In Germany, "Unterlassene Hilfeleistung" (neglect of duty to provide assistance) is an offense; a citizen is obliged to provide first aid when necessary and is immune from prosecution if assistance given in good faith turns out to be harmful. Also the helper may not be held responsible if the action he should take in order to help is unacceptable for him and he is unable to act (for example dealing with blood). In Germany, knowledge of first aid is a prerequisite for the granting of a driving license."

So to all you RLSH bashers out there, unless you are too stupid, lazy, or ignorant to do so, spend some time researching before you talk your idiotic smack. Try stepping out of that perpetual fog cloud of narrow mindedness if you have even a sliver of courage in your bodies. But if you insist of continuing to misrepresent the
RLSH movement with your lies and propaganda then so be it. You're already lost the battle - you just either too dumb to know it or to scared to admit it.

Poor Potentate.. are you nervous little man?

What a most ironic victory for the RLSH to see the Potentate beseeching his band of merry morons in ROACH to support worthwhile and charitable causes like helping the needy in the aftermath of Haiti. ROACH doing acts of charity? Isn't this the same
organization who despises when the RLSH do this very thing because they say the RLSH are doing it for the glory and recognition? And yet here is the Potentate, or the Impotent as I like to call him, reaching out to his ROACH clowns and saying "Hey, let's start making CHARITABLE ACTS AND MAYBE WE WILL GET NOTICED LIKE THE RLSH AND EVEN HAVE A STREET OR PARK NAMED AFTER US." Potentate proves once again that even beyond the so-called satirical bend of his movement, he's a liar and a hypocrite and the same can be said for most members of ROACH as you go down the chain. For the record, some of them might say "Oh but we are villians so it's normal to lie" but I'm talking about beyond their villian gimmick. I'm talking about one of the fundamental and constant reasons that the Impotent and his ROACH clowns have supposedly and seriously had a beef with the RLSH and yet here he is preaching and practically begging his people to act EXACTLY LIKE A RLSH AND GO ABOVE AND BEYOND WHAT MOST PEOPLE DO IN THE HOPES OF GETTING SOME GLORY AND FAME.

Hey Potentate, here's a thought you cheap T-shirt selling buffoon - help out the people in Haiti just because it's the right thing to do and not because you ROACH ass clowns MAY end up with your faces plastered on CNN like a bunch of media whores. You do know what a media whore is right? It's what you accuse most RLSH of trying to be and what you are asking ROACH to now aspire to in light of the Haiti disaster.

This sudden zeal and call to arms of the Potentate/Impotent and his goon squad members like the Beryllium Bitch (Agent Beryllium) and the Bronze Bedpan/Lord Maggot
(Lord Malignance) to jump in and act like RLSH when it comes to charity is merely proof of their desperation and hypocrisy. But you know what, this little old mouse actually WANTS ROACH to succeed in this particular endeavor because the people of Haiti need help now more than ever and if it comes from ROACH, the RLSH, or a club comprised of overweight retired clowns then who gives a shit!! The point in just help these people, including the ones that might be suffering from terminal diseases even as they are surrounded by devastation (Black Dung/Black Sun might not like that but that limp dick can go swivel his ass on a spinning chainsaw blade for all I care). But the Impotent/Potentates last blog proves what I have been saying all along. He and his brethen are hypocrites and liars and their movement, even beyond it's satirical bend, is an absolute farce. They are annoyed by the RLSH doing charity and accuse them of being gloryhounds to the media but here comes the Impotent/Potentate with his ROACH morons saying "hey let's get involved with some charitable events such as that in Haiti and maybe if we do we will get a street or park named after us." You know, I really don't think that will happen because I highly doubt that a mayor of a town would enjoy having kids drive down "Assclown Avenue" which would be a fair description of ROACH members in general.

But what really underlines the Impotent/Potentates latest blog is something more than a mere call to arms to his lackeys and losers on ROACH. If you peel away the satire and his arrogant bravado then the core of his words smacks of the following...fear and apprehension. He sees things like the movie "Kick Ass" coming out, the potential for the media to put a focused view of the RLSH movement which might in turn cause it to grow and become stronger and it makes him nervous. It fills him with fear (which is easy to do to a guy like the Impotent/Potentate who has no spine to begin with). He's afraid because he knows that even beyond their so-called satirical attacks on the RLSH that any true desire he and ROACH have of taking down the RLSH movement has failed and is doomed to fail in the future. So what does he do? He hides his fear behind a call to arms, a call to arms to be noble, self-sacrificing, merciful, and compassionate....oh how very HEROIC of you Impotent/Potentate. Oh how very RLSH OF YOU POTENTATE. Thank you so much for making this latest call to arms. Not only will the people of Haiti enjoy recieving a little more aid but your imitation of the RLSH in thought, ideals, and action only makes your organization look like a bunch of two-faced hypocrites but it strengthens the RLSH. Well done lackey, the members of the RLSH thank you for helping them on several levels.

But you're a t-shirt salesman right? Surely you've got some of those cheap material t-shirts lying around because surely in your mistaken arrogance you printed like 10,000 of them thinking the world would fall to their collective knees and beg to buy them from you. Here's a thought you ass monkey egomaniac, grab some of those shirts or print up a few and ship them over to Haiti if you really give a shit. But I know that won't happen because that would cost you money and there's no profit in charity according to jackasses like you. With your latest blog Impotent/Potentate, you and your ROACH goons prove yet again why your movement, even beyond the satire label, is hopelessly flawed, pathetically insignificant beyond the purpose of making fun of, and based on an infinite loop of fallacy. ROACH - not only do they like to crack jokes but they are one as well.

Black Sun (or Black Dung) - no balls, hence your my bitch

Funny thing about smacking some RLSV idiots around - when they get their asses handed to them they run off to their own blog and claim victory. Black Dung, you and your compatriots can come at me with all the fancy rhetoric in the world (and really, do all of you have a Websters Dictionary shoved that far up your collective asses?). I mean maybe that impresses some people but your attempts at making your idiotic tripe more believable by using highbrow wording is the equivalent of putting red ribbon and high priced sprays of perfume on a pile of crap...at the end of the day it's still crap. But by all means Black Dung, you and the Bronze Bedpan (Lord Malignance), and Exit "Less than zero" Nero keep talking your smack. It only reinforces how obviously delusional your band of merry morons really are. I wonder if Exit got his name because the moment he enters a room people take a look and whiff of him and demand that he leave. Dude, just because you're a gimmick villian doesn't mean you should run around like some slovenly pig.

Oh and I see the Potentate but up a new desk top background. OMG!! Run for the hills. The leader of ROACH is attacking with a friggin desktop!!! Yeah, that will clearly make the RLSH take pause and cringe. But what can one expect from a guy who as I have said before is nothing more than a egomaniac T-shirt salesman with computer skills. And he still has yet to publicly acknowledge Krampus directly about some recent "requests".

Why RLSVs are doomed to fail

Before I continue let me state that the title of my blog should not fool anyone.
In my time scurrying around and spying for my buddy Krampus (thanks for the 1 lb wad
of cheddar cheese you delivered to me on New Years Day by the way) I've come in contact with plenty of peeps on both sides of the fence; both RLSH and RLSV. Now I would like to say that these experiences were enjoyable all the time but then again that would make this wee little mouse a liar and that's something I have no need to do in this case. Aside from a few RLSH who are bit off center (but not in a bad way mind you) I've had nothing but enjoyable experiences dealing with them. Now as for the RLSVs, will aside from a pretty little vixen named Executrix (shameless plug - listen to her and Krampus on Creature Feature most Saturday nights at 11 PM eastern time at blogtalkradio.com/rlsv) most of my experiences with them have been about as enjoyable as having ones testicles placed in a tight vice followed by having napalm poured on them. I try to be a mere observer but much like Krampus I call it like I see it and I call people out whether they are hero or villain. So if the RLSVs don't like me equating them to a carrion beetle nibbling on a donkeys ass then they should not do things to incite this reaction from me. But since they insist on doing so as the saying goes "TOO FUCKING BAD!!!"

But anyways, some RLSVs think I don't understand part of their dislike of the RLSH. Some RLSVs (if they are being honest which seems to be unlikely) claim that the RLSH are loose cannons...violent and armed vigilantes who scour the cities like rabid packs of dogs, attacking without provocation or restraint. While this may be the case with any RLSH, it can also be the case with anyone with a vigilante mentality whether they don a costume or not.

Is this fear that some RLSVs have the real reason for their existence or do they just use it as a smokescreen to act like imbecile ass clowns with their blogs and their defamatory descriptions of simple internet pictures? My opinion is that the RLSVs merely use this as a phantom excuse to act like internet irritants. Why you might ask? Well if the RLSH were the vigilante-gone-wild group of people the RLSV claim to be then why isn't the media reporting rampant cases of such abuse constantly? Where are the stories of the RLSH and their thug like behavior landing them in jail? IF it was as bad as the RLSV say it is then then would be a major story
on all stations and air waves. But no, it is not. So when people like The Impotent
(alias the Potentate), Black Dung (alias Black Sun), the Bronze Bedpan or Lord Maggot (alias Lord Malignance), and the Beryllium Bitch (alias Agent Beryllium) spout off about the need to crush the RLSH movement all I can do is sit back and laugh at the futility of their endeavors. Why just recently I saw the Bronze Bedpan threaten to send some lackeys after a friend of mine - translation to this: He's
going to take 5 minutes out of his pathetic existence to climb up the stairs on his mommies basement, tell his mommy that my friend made him angry and cry and ask her to go chastise my friend vehemently because he lacks the sack to do so himself.

The RLSV movement is doomed to fail just as it continues to fail now. There are several reasons for this. First off, for all their crying about how the RLSH are riddled with people who are "a bit off" they need only look in the mirror and see
mental instability in their own group. Take the Black Dung for example. Recently, he told me that people, especially children who are born with genetic deficiencies or acquire incurable diseases like cancer show be exterminated so as to not further taint the gene pool for future generations. So really, who in their right mind would listen to someone with this vile train of thought when it comes to discussing the ethics and morality of anyone, be they a regular Joe or an RLSH. Black Dung so many other RLSV suffer under a simple delusion - they think they have the right to judge others moral and ethical fiber when they themselves have none to start with. It's like taking the 12 most corrupt people in the world and putting them on a jury to decide innocence of guilt. Then we have the Impotent. Months ago he puts out a picture of a father in a costume with his daughter and defames them both by claiming that the father in question was a pedophile and that the child was in danger. He did not take time to see that this was a father and child. Instead and for his sick perverse nature he chose otherwise. Word is he has a wee one himself these days. I wonder how he would feel if someone took a picture of him holding his child and found a way to implicate him in some for of child abuse. Then again the Impotent is nothing more than a glorified T-shirt salesman with computer skills who hides behind a cloud of smoke. Come to think of it... his appearance defines what ROACH is at least to me - a group of bored failed deviants who try to hide their sorry selves behind some form of internet obfuscation. So once again, how can anyone trust what the Impotent says when he thrives on deception so much? Is he really concerned with the "Dreaded RLSH" or is he in this just to sell t-shirts and annoy people? I'm kinda leaning towards the latter (and his t-shirts are probably made from cheap ass material anyways). Then we had an instance where some RLSVs were discussing possibly using spam-bots laced with porn or viruses to attack RLSH-themed forums. Last time I checked that was illegal. But wait, aren't the RLSV supposed to be trying to take down the RLSH because the RLSH are potentially doing things illegally? Ladies and gentlemen that's called hypocrisy. But wait, there's more. A former and possibly still member of the ROACH organization several weeks ago declared war on the RLSH, using words that sounded almost like a intent of jihad. He even went so far as to threaten to disrupt charity functions run by RLSH members dedicated to raising awareness for good causes (Ex: fighting diseases, child and spousal abuse, and protection of the environment.) Now if the crux of the RLSV issue is stopping the RLSH from patrolling then they should have no issue with this. Apparently however this is not the case. Again this is contradictory to the apparent dogma of the RLSV.
Lastly, we have the Beryllium Bitch, the poster child for a bad hair day and lack of melanin. And no, I am not a racist by saying this. Allow me to explain. The Beryllium Bitch thrives on working with the Bronze Bedpan (sometimes I think he acts like the equivalent of her internet pimp or something). They combine to take pictures on the net of RLSH members and defame and ridicule them. Recently, she took picture of two people in the RLSH community of particular notice; the first Being Nyx and the second being Crossfire the Crusader. She mocked Nyx for her fashion sense and likened her appearance to that of a prostitute (which I find ironic because the Beryllium Bitch recently took a picture of the Aluminum Chef pissing in public - yeah, real classy BB ). Then she took a picture of Crossfire and likened him to looking like a member of the KKK and apparently had a problem with him being from Arkansas. Funny thing is a few times when she's been confronted with people treating her the same way she gets "annoyed". Well, honey, if you don't like people treating you like a bitch then don't act like one.

With the RLSV community having people like this being their voices it's no wonder no one takes then seriously. They are nothing more than a gimmick - a group of people who hide behind the shield of so called satire to act like a bunch of assholes. The RLSH movement will continue. It will grow and while far from perfect, they have one thing going for them above all else. While the RLSV sit back on their fat asses and do nothing but complain and make fun of the RLSH, the RLSH go out and continue to try to improve the world around them. The are activists. The RLSV claim that the actions of the RLSH are dangerous. I'm here to say that the inaction of most RLSV towards making things better makes them lazy and their rhetoric for the most part irrelevant. Ironically, of any RLSV to get up and do something positive, it would be very unlike a villain and much more like a hero. If I had a modicum of respect for the RLSV then I'd offer them a bit of my cheese to go with their whine because really, that's all they do is complain and further solidify their existence as losers. This is why they are doomed to fail - because they bring nothing to the table that is of any real value.

Lastly, allow me to make a special mention of Executrix once again. She is the exception to the negativity I have for the RLSV. She uses her status as a villain for charitable endeavors, playing it off the RLSH for what is ultimately a positive outcome. For this reason I hold her in high esteem - she's proven that you can still be a "bad girl" but have a good heart. Many RLSV could learn alot from her if they took the time and effort to do so but as I said before, most RLSV are lazy and hypocritical in thought and action. So it would be pointless for this wee little mouse to expect anything worthwhile from them. As for the RLSH, my advice to you is keep doing what you do but don't cross any lines because if you do you should be held accountable just like anyone else. The RLSV want you to fail because they would use that to further their propaganda. But really, if you did not exist then they would not either so revel in the fact that in a backwards kind of way you own the RLSV. ;)

Anyways, that's it for me for now. I see Whiskers the alley cat pouncing my way and that means it's time for me to scurry into the shadows. Keep in mind heroes and villains alike, much like my magnanimous mythical friend Krampus.. I'll be watching you from the shadows so play nice. If not then you get what you deserve. ;)

Santa Claus - The Ultimate RLSH

On the eve of that most joyous day known as Christmas I wanted to take some time out from
scrounging through dumpsters for stale left over pizza, evading the mutlitude of cats and large
birds of prey who would seek to disembowel me, and even spying on those mudslinging
malcontents and miscreants of ROACH on behalf of my dread lord Krampus to talk about
perhaps the greatest RLSH of them all. That's right boys and girls, I'm talking about good old
Santa himself.

Let's take a look at old Saint Nicks list of mythical abilities. First of all, he lives in the coldest
point in the North Pole, something that any sane person would NOT DO for fear of freezing their
asses off. Frostbite can be a real bitch sometimes but good old Santa makes it work along with
his old lady and his legion of elves. Elves...that's right, Santa has a LEGION of elves at his
disposal. Now I don't know if he pays them to work 24/7 or how much but they always seem to
get the job done. Does the Easter Bunny have a legion of elves at his disposal? No. Last time I
checked the Tooth Fairy was a solo act so apparently Santa has the mojo these other peeps are
missing. You go big guy!!! Keep rocking like you always do. As if having a legion of elves at his
disposal was not enough, Santa has a pimped out sled (MTV eat your hearts out) and a pack of
reindeer that can fly through any kind of weather thanks to the head buck himself, Rudolph
with his bright nose (now that's what I call some serious bling - Flavor Flav, even with you big
ass clock from you NWA days, you got nothing on Rudolph brother)

Now as we all know the RLSH like to pattern themselves after heroic figures and principles (well
for the most part - admittedly there are a few fruitcakes in the group but the RLSH still
superior by leaps and bounds to even the most benign ROACH or RLSV). Now we all know that
Santa is...well..oh how can I say this without offending....hmmm..oh...uh...a bit on the chunky
side. However, despite his profound width and girth he seems to move around with the speed of
lightning - how else can you describe a person who can deliver toys to all the nice folks of the
world IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS!!!! Holy shit!!! Pardon me but I find that friggin amazing!!!
Then we have Santa's ability to alter his physical dimensions - I am convinced that Santa must
be the plumpest contortionist in the world. How else can you explain his ability to squeeze into
the tightest chimneys, under doors, and through small windows. Believe me, I know all about
flexibility (well, at least that's what my wife tells me) and somehow, some way, the big guy has
the goods.

Then there's generosity. Last time I checked, Santa does not ask for money so all this gift giving
he is doing is, as they say in legal circles, pro bono. Yeap, it's a freebie and he never complains.
Damn, come to think of it Santa must be the richest dude in the world, making Bill Gates and
Donald Trump look like paupers. Shit, I gotta call him up and get a seasonal gig with him...well
with the permission of my dread Lord Krampus of course. What? Don't look at me that way. I
have 2,735,876 mouths to feed and these mice welfare checks barely cover it!!! So Santa and his
elves spend all year making toys at no cost to us and we reap the rewards. Damn, if that's not
awesome then nothing is.

Now Santa has what I can only call....the mojo supreme. Think about it folks. All of you are
under the impression that you all are the onesthat go out and buy the gifts for your family or
friends, do the hiding of the gifts until the 25th, and that every fat guy you see dressed in a red
and white suit and ringing his bells in malls and street corners are just random people trying to
make a few extra $$ on the side. But here's a little secret....that's part of his supreme mojo. See,
Santa has the ability to alter our perceptions of reality but like every responsible heroic icon he
uses this power for benign purposes only. So when all of you think that all those Santas in malls
are just regular dudes... oh no, that's Santa being able to appear in multiple places at the same
time. When you think you're the ones buying the gifts ands doing the hiding...oh no, that's Santa
and his supreme mojo making you THINK you are the ones doing the work. It's all part of his
gig, trust me folks I know. I have some elf buddies up there in the North Pole that I play poker
with from time to time and they spilled the beans on this hokus pokus a long time ago. Speaking
of that, hey Monty, get a table ready for this Saturday night, I'll bring the booze/egg nog, you
bring the hot broads, and tell Mario to bring the psaghetti and meatballs.

Lastly, Santa wants all of us to be good to one another. Truth be told we (and this even applies
to the race of mice and rats as well as humans) we don't always treat each other very well. To be
perfectly blunt, we spend alot of time taking a crap on one another instead of building each other
up. It's easy to tear a person down, to squash their hopes and dreams, to marginalize their
accomplishments when we tap into the darker side of ourselves. But the harder and more
worthwhile path is to help people rise up and overcome their troubles, to inspire them to
greatness, and to pat them on the back for a job well done. Evil is for the lazy. Good is for the
selfless. Hence the reason while I play things down the middle like old Krampus does, truth be
told I'm cool with most RLSH and thumb my hairy nostrils at most RLSV (yeah, I'm especially
talking to you Black Sun and that goggle-faced bitch that hangs with your crew as well). Bottom
line is that Santa is a RLSH and a damned good one at that. Now word is that even though most
RLSV have ended up on the "naughty list" Santa has found it within himself to still give some of
these dastardly dimwits gifts on Christmas. They don't deserve that bit of kindness but if there
is one thing that Santa does well and that is turn the other cheek (the ones above his neck
people.. come on, get your heads out of the gutter). Maybe we should take a hint from good old
Santa on this and try to be better than we were yesterday and keep trying for whatever time
we have left on this mudball we call Earth.

But for thsoe of you who insist on being "naughty" now and forever, me, Krampus, and Santa
have a few things in common - we are always watching even when you don;t think we are and
we believe that bad karma comes around to bite a person in the ass sooner or later. Merry
Christmas to me human and animal friends and have a great new year!!!!

Holy crap!!!! Monty just got us the hook up!!! We got the whole crew of WWE Divas showing up
in Christmas lingerie for our poker game tonight. I call dibs on the first lap dance from Mickie
James!!!

A Morsel from Mr. Jingles

So I was scurrying about one late night through the darkened hallway of some random and
very cluttered home (the mess aided in my ability to hide ny presence) while carrying a nice 3
day old cheddar cracker and I came across some guy in a funky mask sitting in front of his
computer. Now what many people do not know is that me and many of my rodent brethen by
means which I will not divulge (it's a matter of national security amongst my peeps) gained
cognitive capacity equivalent to that of your standard homo sapien. Me being a curious little
mouse (as well as tired from evading the house cat for the past 10 minutes) saw this masked
man typing away furiously on his keyboard all the while muttering obscenities under his breath
onto a blog for an organization called ROACH.

Now this bears saying - I am considered vermin and as such I have many fellow vermin who I
consider friends that are of the cockroach designation. I don't mean the warm blooded holligan
humans running around as ROACH - I mean the ACTUAL bugs themselves. I've told them
about this ROACH organization and I can tell by their twitching that they feel insulted by being
associated with them. So if any ROACH members find their homes or belongings infested with
"special bug surprises" left by my coackroach friends don't be surprised. After all, how smart is
to piss off a race of creatures that will forever outnumber you and will be around long after you
warm blooded fools have finished screwing this planet up.

Anyways, some ROACH members apparently do not take kindly to some of the things said by
them. My response to this is quite simply...TOO F*CKING BAD!!! I've read alot of your blogs.
I've seen you guys go after fathers and defame them in pictures with their children, post
personal information about minors on the internet thus endangering these minors to potentially
criminal minds, threaten to launch computer viruses, porn bots, and other spam creating
devices onto other forums largely run by RLSH, and accuse people merely by pictures of being
members of the KKK, prostitutes, or pedophiles, and threaten to disrupt charity events. This is
just a small sampling of their sickening behavior. Then, some of them have the audacity to
demand respect, to say they "disagree with behavior that is equal to their own but turned on
them", and act surprised when people refuse to be treated poorly. Like my Uncle Elroy once
told me (shortly before being run over by a mini-van) "Sooner or later, whatever you give in
life you get back in return." So to the ROACH peeps, if you treat people like crap, thrreaten and
mock them then sooner or later it's going to happen to you.

<<>>

Now I have a friend of mine named Krampus. Let me tell you, he's a bad bad creature. At first
he threatened to consume me in a slow tortured manner for not bowing and recognizing his
greatness but we worked out a deal. I scurry around for him and spy on people, taking notes
and bringing my gathered info to him. With my assistance it helps him keep checks on both the
ones called RLSH and the ROACH (and allows me to avoid his terrible wrath). He pays me well-
I can't complain about the piles of cheese, stale bread, and popcorn that he provides me. The
stuff is real friggin good. Krampus does not take sides but he knows people on both sides. He'll
crack the whip on a dumb as RLSH as quickly as he'll crack the whip on a ROACH. He's an equal
opportunist mythological terror and that's cool by me. More often than not however it's the
ROACH who incur his magnificently monstrous ire. See, you ROACH dinkleberries IMHO are
lazy hypocrites. Villian gimmick aside, what do you guys offer to the world that is even remotely
positive? From what I can tell pretty much nothing. You complain about the RLSH who patrol,
pointing out how dangerous they are and yet I fail to see anything resembling a slew of stories
about these vigilantes gone amock. Being the tiny mouse that I am I've followed many of them
in their patrols in secret and for the most part nothing even remotely close to what you ROACH
describe as "dangerous vigilante-style behavior" occurs.

So I pondered one day what it is that really drives you ROACH to do what you do given that the
premise of your reason for existence is built on a house of cards. Then I read something that
Agent Berylluin said in one of her blogs (I will refrain from calling her the name she has truly
earned which is the Berylluin B*tch). She referred to herself as an "attention whore". Well, I do
agree on her description of herself as a woman of ill repute (Helpful hint: Move to Nevada and
you can not only pedal your flesh legally but get a tax return for it). Seriously though, this
comment put everything in perspective. Not only is Agent Beryllium an attention whore but all
of ROACH is just one giant organized gathering of attention whores. Your leader is nothing more
than a glorified T-shirt salesman with computer skills and smoking issues and the rest of the
ROACH hypcrites who complain about others using anonymity to their advantage hide your own
faces behind gas masks, paper bags, or large awkward looking goggles. You create these blogs
just to draw attention to yourselves because you are ALL ATTENTION WHORES!! It's not
about and never has been about stopping the vigilante RLSH. It's always been about feeding
your fat bloated egos at the expense of others and bringing the spotlight of attention onto your
otherwise mundane lives. You complain about the RLSH trying to get media attention 24/7 and
yet one of your own describes herself as an "attention whore". Congratulations, you are the
mirror of the very people and behavior that you claim to despise.

Well I see this ROACH guy is turning his computer off and calling it a night. I gotta go grab me a
second helping of those sweet cheddar crackers. I'll be back in the near future in the service of
my dread leader Krampus to hit people with reality checks when needed because you gotta keep
people honest... well as honest as you can get a bunch of ROACH hooligans to be.