"When good people in any country cease their vigilance and struggle, then evil men prevail." - Pearl S. Buck

"The moment we break faith with one another, the sea engulfs us and the light goes out." - James Baldwin

About me.....

My photo
I'm a dreamer and perhaps too much of an eternal optimist. I always try to look at the glass as half full. Defiant and ferocious towards those who would seek to unjustly harm others, I speak my mind...for better or worse. Where as some view compassion as a weakness I view it as a strength. I try not to live in the shadows of my regrets because doing so dims the light and the promise of a new day. I do not strive for perfection for this is the quest of fools and denies a man the blessings of humility. The bonds of true friendship and family are to be protected...sometimes by the cunning, stealth, and tenaciousness of a mouse but other times by the wrath and fury of the dragon. I am one and yet I am both. This is my truth.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Cowboys...Vampires...Darkness...Light...and all things in between


Darkwatch / Jericho Cross
The game's story the exploits of Jericho Cross, an outlaw-turned-vampire, and his employment in an ancient vampire-hunting order known as the Darkwatch (hence the game's title). After unwittingly releasing the Darkwatch's greatest enemy, a vampire lord named Lazarus Malkoth, Jericho is conscripted into the Darkwatch as an elite operative. Jericho, however, is slowly turning into a vampire himself, after being bitten by Lazarus. The game outlines either Jericho's struggle for humanity or his descent into darkness, depending on the player's actions.

The game begins in Arizona Territory in 1876 with Jericho attempting to rob a Darkwatch train that is transporting the captured Lazarus Malkoth to the Darkwatch Citadel, a frequently mentioned and often visited location in the game, and in doing so releasing Lazarus into the West. In a seeming bit of mercy, Lazarus bites Jericho and gives him the curse of the vampire, causing him to slowly turn into one. The game continues with the introduction of Cassidy, as well as the appearance of Shadow, Jericho's undead horse.

As the game progresses, Jericho finally make his way to the Darkwatch Citadel, where he meets Clay Cartwright, the leader of Darkwatch, who brutally tests him to see if he deserves to be a Darkwatch Regulator. The test completed, Jericho begins to do missions for the Darkwatch. Missions include fixing some of the damage he has caused, to acquiring Darkwatch equipment, such as the Darklight Prism, a stone that allows vampires within its vicinity to use their powers and walk in sunlight. On some of his missions Jericho is accompanied by other Darkwatch forces including his new partner, the ruthless temptress named Tala.

A final showdown ensues with Lazarus attacking the Citadel and bringing about a massive fight, in which Jericho arises victorious, and a choice is given. Either Jericho rids the west of the Curse of Lazarus, or he becomes the Curse. The player's choice determines how the game ends. If the character were to choose the good option, then the final fight will be against the vampiric Tala, and if they player chose to take Lazarus' curse for himself, then he must fight the ghost of Cassidy. The bad ending shows Jericho killing Tala and riding into the night, while the good ending shows Cassidy's soul being released.

Jericho is met with multiple choices of a good or evil variety, allowing the player to select morality awarding Jericho different powers based on the same choices. The evil powers tend to be more rage oriented and deal higher damage per use, while the good powers deal less damage but tend to be more effective against enemies in general.

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Sadly, I never got to finish the game so I can only go by accounts on the net as well as my friends who did finish this game. There is a moment in the game for example when one of the victims of a vampire bite is shambling about in a near mindless haze as the curse begins to engulf her body. The game stops and offers you one of two choices – drain the woman dry to feed yourself but ultimately kill her and turn her fully to a vampire (it’s one or the other) OR drain her just enough to remove the vampiric taint in her blood by taking it into yourself and cleansing her of the curse. The choice for me seemed obvious – I saved the woman and moved on in the game, in the process gaining a new power based on the side of light. Now sure this was just a game but the offering of moral choices or ambiguity is a recent trend in video games, IMHO a maturing aspect in the evolution of video games. I also think the game teaches a valuable lesson in morality. Unlike previous games which lock you into a set pattern – it offers you in a sense what we all want – a choice rather than have our fates chosen for us without any say in the matter. It also shows us the consequences of our actions, be they beneficial or destructive. Ultimately, if you follow the path of light the game rewards Jericho for his willpower, for his self control, and helping others even when every urge inside him begs him to crush them. The emphasis of how difficult it is for Jericho to resist his dark urges is constant but as described above he does not go about it alone. The chance to redeem himself is offered but not without sacrifice and he is incapable of success without true conviction. Choosing the path of darkness you are in a sense also rewarded but this ending eludes to the fact that Jericho, now having fully embraced his evil nature, rides off to cut a swath of destruction and misery with a high body count in his wake. But the choice remains that of the player. In real life we do almost always have a choice to do the right thing and when it presents itself we should take it. Sometimes we fail or give in to anger or the emptiness of loss – I don’t care how strong you think you are – it is going to happen. When this happens it is our obligation to seek help and put ourselves on a path of renewal that casts aside the dark shadows we sometimes create within ourselves. While doing so however we should remember that sometimes the consequences of our conflicted selves victimize others and those victims in turn lash out in response. Feeling intense disdain for someone because of their recurring negative actions does not preclude one from feeling sympathy for them as a human being when they suffer. In a nut shell, I may not like a specific person for what they have said or done but on a basic human level it should not impossible for us to feel sympathy for them. That being said, the sympathy we offer survives or perishes based on the reactions of those who receive it…at least that’s how I see it. 

My choice to be a costumed activist has made me some good friends along the way….and sadly some bitter enemies. These enemies would like to convince you that their disdain for me and others who do what I do in the community is worth every drop of venom they spill about us. But behind the smoke and mirrors the real reason for their disdain is that unlike so many others I refused and still refuse to look the other way when they start spreading their verbal poison like a plague. Some RLSH look the other way even as the foes of the RLSH/costumed activist movement attack their peers and their movement or even engage them like it’s no big deal. It’s the equivalent of getting a pat on the back from them with one hand and getting stabbed in the back with the other. I often wonder what the point is of constantly going after the RLSH with so much hatred. I mean really, does the fact that some us dress up in costumes and patrol or do charity work have such a devastating effect on the lives of our detractors? Are they emotionally, spiritually, or physically paralyzed by the fact that some of us go out and hand sandwiches to homeless, visit hospitals to bring joy to sick children, engage in patrols, ect.? To be blunt, do your lives come to a grinding halt because we exist? On the rare chance that your life does stop completely because we exist I offer you no apology because the fact that you cannot cope with the existence of an infinitesimally small percentage of the human populace dressing in spandex and doing what we do is rather ridiculous. Like the saying goes “you got issues”.

The truth is what the RLSH/costumed activists do generally have no direct impact on your lives.  The RLSH/costumed activists don’t go into their actions thinking that their primary reason for doing it is “to piss you off”. When I do homeless outreach I don’t give them food and think “yeah because me giving this guy a bottle of water is going to infuriate those RLSVs”.  If the actions of the RLSH/costumed activists had a legitimately direct and profound negative effect on the lives of our detractors then I would understand the anger, the hatred, the bitter poison directed at us from your safe and anonymous confines of the blogosphere/internet. But deep down inside and whether they want to admit it or not we both know that is not the case and that’s what makes your hatred of us so false, the conviction of your anger so hollow. 

I have never, for one day, despite the barbs and abuse I have taken, regretted the choice I made to be a costumed activist. I’ve helped a few people and made them happy and if the sum of my actions thus far has made even one life better then all of it, the good and bad, has been worth it. So those of you who harbor hatred or anger for RLSH/costumed activists consider two things..

1)        Do the actions of the RLSH/costumed activists have a serious and direct effect on your lives?

2)      If the answer is no, then what is the point of directing so much animosity towards a group of people who do  
       not have any serious effect on your lives? 

Now I am not naïve. I know this blog post probably isn’t going to change anything but that was not the point of writing it. No doubt the detractors of the RLSH/costumed activist movements are going to continue their barrage of insults and defamatory posts. If you’re a RLSH/costumed activist or considering being one and are willing to go about it in a sensible way (example – Silver Sentinel) and decide to quit or walk away because of the harsh words of the haters then take your candy ass back to wherever it is you came from and stay there.  Doing good is about staying the course, even in the most tempestuous of times. When you make choice, understand that you will have to deal with the consequences of that choice and make sure your resolve is strong. 

Much like in the game Darkwatch, I chose the path of light and come what may I’m gonna walk it until they put me six feet under in a pine box. 

Damn, where’s a Play Station 2 and a memory card when you really need one?

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Just another day in the park.....not

So me and my wife decide to take our kids to the park today to let them have all manner of fun, frolick, and merriment. I made sure to pack their bikes into my wifes car (since there is no way they would fit in mine) and we head off. The park in question is only about a 5 minute drive from my home and it has an area where they can ride around and enjoy themselves as well as the standard swing sets, slides, ect. One thing I can say without question is that my daughter, for a three year old is fearless with her bike and has mad manuevering skills. My son is still getting used to his bike but I was proud of his persistence even when he had trouble. We stayed for about an hour and after that time we decided to leave. Here's the part that REALLY pissed me off.

As we are walking to the car we see a couple of kids wandering around a parked car kind of aimlessly, a mixture of concern and that "what do I do now" face that kids put up sometimes. So I immediately start to get worried and start looking around, telling my wife "Try to see if there is anyone around that should be watching over these kids." Mind you, the kids were wandering around near the car but also going through the parking area where any car with a less than careful driver could hit them and cause a terrible tragedy. As we get closer we see a child in the back of the car strapped to his car seat. While the car was in partial shade the area where the child was seated was getting a decent ray of sunshine breaking thru the canopy of the tree line and hitting him almost like a focused laser. You could tell he was in discomfort. Seeing that, my anger only grew but I kept my cool.

Inside the car was a man and a woman, apparently the parents of these children. They looked asleep but part of me feared they had had some kind of physical attack that had caused them to pass out. I guess my sense of logic and hope was trying to rationalize why they would allow there kids to be in such a precarious state. One of the kids, a young girl that could not be more than 5 years old comes up to me and says "I have to do #1" but not exactly in those words. Now, had I been a bad person with terrible intentions I could have easily walked away with the little girl while HER PARENTS SLEPT AWAY DURING THE ENTIRE EPISODE. Worst still was that the other child was even younger than the girl, perhaps no more than three years ol and wandering around farther from the car than her. Still keeping my cool I decided this was intolerable and I tapped on the car loud enough for the parents to hear me. They awoke from their slumber in that semi-dazed state that people have when they wake up unexpectedly. I told the woman "Ma'm your children were wandering around outside the car while you  were sleeping. I didn't want anything bad to happen to them so I thought I should wake you up. I hope you understand."

She looked around and said "Oh wow, I can't believe we fell asleep in the car this way" and I'm not even sure she thanked me for what I did (which is okay because my primary concern was the well being of the children and not her thanks.) Worst still, I told her that her child apparently wanted to go to the bathroom and as I was getting into my car and loading the stuff up I saw her and the guy she was with drive away without taking the child to the public bathroom in the park.

Being a parent is not easy. I love my kids and while no parent is perfect what I saw those people do today was deeply disturbing. I'd like to be surprised by what happened but then I read stories about parents leaving their kids in the back seats of their cars on very hot days and the kids dying from suffocation or heat stroke. I hear stories of parents leaving kids who are too young to be left alone in the house by themselves and then the often horrific consequences of doing so. Part of me wanted to rage against them, to scream "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!!!" but I didn't think that anger like that would be constructive in any way.

Mistakes like those parents made are what causes kids to end up on the back of milk cartons, on missing persons posters, or worse still, a cold metal table in a morgue with a coroner or forensics person on hand to find the cause of death. We, as a race, and regardless of where we stand philosophically, should be less concerned with waging war against one another and instead wage a war against these kinds of careless behavior. We should stand against the apathy that causes a parent to fall asleep in there car with the windows down while one child is blistering in the back seat and another two wander around with no supervision. Who knows what would have happened if I had not stepped in. But you know what REALLY pisses me off...

I shouldn't have had to.

I'm no better than anyone but I refuse to stand by when I see things like this and do nothing, especially being a parent myself. It's this whole "it's none of my business" or "it's not my problem" attitude that festers way too often in our society and we need to do our part, even in the tiniest of ways, to stomp a mudhole in it and send it crawling back into the darkness.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

For the record

I was told by a mutual friend that once again I was the partial subject of the babble of a some guy on the internet claiming to be a "villian". So I stroll over, read his longwinded tripe (seriously, if anyone suffers from insomnia you should check it out - it will cure you after the first two minutes or so) and after I was done I realized what a sad person he really is. Going on and on about how villians are going to win, how the legions are growing, and laying judgment on those he thinks have succeeded or failed.You recently told me you thought of yourself as a god-like being. It's too bad you cannot escape the grips of your own delusions.

Dude, I know I dress up in a spandex costume and take on a persona once in while but I find comfort in the fact that I can step away from those moments when necessary. I actually speak to people in what society considers "normal" dialogue, not as if I was perpetually trapped in a Shakespearean play. To be perfectly blunt, I have a life beyond the costume and the blogosphere, something you apparently do not.

You don't wear the mask...the mask wears you.

Trashing me on the internet isn't going to stop me from my charity work or helping people. You're not going to make me quit by continuing to be such a chronic pain in the ass.  You're not going to silence me by continuing whatever it is you want to call this screwed up crusade of yours. Seriously, you just don't matter. You might piss a few people off in a while or annoy them but that's as far as you get and really...that's not very far at all.

Oh and Bal Harbor Batman...rock on brother. 

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Iran: Getting quite stupid when it comes to Cupid

Well I had hoped my first post after the recent "rearrangement" of my blog would have been a positive one but fate has decided otherwise. Ladies and gentlemen, the message is clear. Iran has either declared or is about to declare war on St. Valentines Day. Could a jihad crusade against Cupid himself be far behind?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20110118/od_nm/us_ban_valentines

So they are afraid of the spreading influence of Western culture huh? Gee, I wonder why would anyone in their right mind ever want to leave the suffocating confines of a culture that is borderline barbaric, ridiculously intolerant, and ruled by a president who is nothing more than a terrorist in office? I mean, this is the same guy who said that there were no homosexuals in his country? Oh really, are you that big of a jackass. I guess we can add ignorant homophobe to your long resume of character flaws. And that law about unmarried couples not being allowed to mingle? It's no wonder your youth of your country wants to move away from your assenine backwards mentality. Add to this that St. Valentines days is a money maker which your devastated economy could get some assistance from and your decision to ban it makes about as much sense bobbing for apples in a tank full of pirahna.

What I would really like to see is Cupid fly into Iran in stealth mode, pull back on that bow of his and put an arrow right through good old Mahmoud Ahmadinejads heart and put the bastard out of his misery. But then I remembered that Ahmadinejad has no heart... which is par for the course since he has no balls either.

So really don't you think that good old Cupid would risk this...

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If he could get away with a whole lot of this.....

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Hell f*cking yeah!!!!